HIMON

Part 1
Kristen: Welcome to the second episode of the House in the Middle of Nowhere. Last week, the Rogues pulled out the victory thanks to Nasia and Tiffany and Rae from the Vigilantes were put up for elimination. In a vote of 3-6 Rae was eliminated from the house. What will happen this week on, the House, in the Middle of Nowhere.

Scene changes to Tom and John talking.

John: So, Tom, I kinda like this girl in the house.

Tom: No way man, really?

John: Yeah, I just get these goosebumps whenever I see her.

Tom: Well you gotta ask her out, sure we can't leave the house but maybe some small little date in here.

John: Eh, maybe.

John DR: Yeah, Nasia's just a beautiful woman, everything I'd want in one actually.

Tyler walks into the kitchen and Nadia gives him a glare.

Nadia DR: Tyler is just, ugh, like he's such a man-whore, him and Nasia were shaking that bed all night last night. And guess what, I was in the room!

Tyler: What's your problem?

Nadia: Nothing, just minding my own business, not f**king people while disturbing others.

Tyler: What the f**k Nadia, is that any of your business?

Nadia: Yes it is when I'm kept up all night because of it.

Tyler DR: Nadia's just, ugh, the biggest bitch ever, like mind your f**king business girl, if I wanna be up all night with a hot girl in bed I will.

Shan walks in.

Shan: I heard yelling, Tyler, are you harming this woman?

Nadia: Yes, he is, as a matter of fact.

Shan tackles Tyler to the ground.

Shan: You will never harm a woman boy, got it!?!

Tyler: I didn't ok!!

Shan: Women don't lie about these kinda of things boy!

Nadia quietly walks away.

A producer comes and gets Shan off of Tyler.

Producer: Shan, you can't do that, ok? One more incident like that and you're off.

Shan: Ok, I'm sorry. Ty, wanna hug it out?

Tyler: F**k no, get away from me.

Tyler DR: I have no clue how I'm gonna work with Shan, maybe I'll just dump her body in a river.

Tyler chuckles.

Tyler DR: I'm not joking...

Ellie and Tom are seen cuddling in bed.

Tom DR: I'm over Nasia...

Ellie DR: Tom is definitely not Mr. Right, I like to think of him as Mr. Right Now.

Kristen walks through the main entrance of the house.

Kristen: Kids, c'mon outside, it's time for your next challenge.

The twelve of them walk outside to the backyard where they see ten large surfboards hanging over the pool.

Kristen: I like to call this challenge...Hang 10. So let's go, get up there.

Part 2
Kristen: Yep, you heard right, get up on those surfboards.

Everyone glares at Kristen.

Kristen: Oh you want me to explain?

Mark: Yeah bitch.

Shan: Don't make me hurt you boy...

Kristen: Shan, who are you talking to?

Mark: Grrrrr.

Kristen: Ok, so you will stand up on the surfboards and whoever the last one left standing becomes the Head of the House and wins safety for his or her team. Got it? Oh and Nasia, as the outgoing Head of the House, you are not eligible to compete.

The ten contestants get on their surfboards.

Kristen: Oh, forgot something, the first person to fall gets an automatic free pass this week, toodles.

The surfboards start rocking back and forth and within three minutes Joey jumps off.

Joey DR: Hey, at least I'm safe.

After ten more minutes Nadia, Mark and Tyler all fall.

Tiffany: I can do this all day.

After about thirty more minutes blasts of water squirt up and hit the contestants in the face knocking Shan and Andrew off.

Shan DR: As long as that chauvinistic John doesn't win, I thin I'm fine.

Two more hours elapse and Tiffany, Ellie, Tom, and John are all still on the surf boards.

Andrew: C'mon Tiff, do it for the Vigilantes!

Tiffany: Eh, don't worry about it, I can stay up her forever.

Tom starts shaking tremendously and falls off into the icy water below.

John: I can't do this anymore, Ellie, are you sure you got this?

Ellie: Yeah, I think so.

John: Ok, then bye.

John jumps off.

Shan DR: Yay!

Nasia: Only two people are left, Tiffany and Ellie.

Everyone: WE KNOW!

Nasia: Jeez, tough crowd.

Ellie: Hey, Tiff.

Tiffany: Yeah?

Ellie: I'm gonna go, if you win, I don't go up right?

Tiffany: Sure.

Ellie: And neither does Shan right?

Tiffany: Sure, I don't go up if you guys win next week right?

Ellie: Of cou-

Ellie falls off the surfboard.

Nasia DR: F**k!

Tiffany does a backflip off the surfboard into the water and swims to the others.

Nasia: Congratulations Tiffany, you are the new Head of the House.

Tiffany DR: Oh yeah bitches, Nasia, watch out.

Part 3
Nasia is frantically running around the house looking for Tyler.

Nasia: Tyler! Where the hell are you?!

Tyler stumbles out of his room with a tub of ice cream and a slice of pizza stuck to his stubble.

'''Tyler: Yeah...?  Nasia:''' I know you slept with Shan last night!

Tyler: What the f**k! Why would I do that?!

Nadia stumbles out of Tyler's room.

Nasia: So it was this slut?

Nadia: Yes...

Tyler: What she said.

Nasia: Y'know what I'm done, just done.

Nasia storms away.

Nadia: Hey, wanna have more sex?

Tyler: Sure, why not?

The two of them go back into Tyler's room and close the door behind them.

Ellie and Shan are seen lounging by the pool.

Shan: Elle, wanna hear a secret?

Ellie: Sure babe.

Shan: You see Joey over there working out?

Both girls turn to see a shirtless Joey working out with Andrew and Tom.

Ellie: Yeah, what about him?

Shan: Has he ever looked hotter?

Ellie bursts out laughing.

Ellie: Shan, you do know that he's married.

Shan: So? I'm known to break up couples.

Ellie: Yeah ok, you go try to break him and has wife up while I lay here and watch from a distance.

Shan: Y'know what...ok, I will take that challenge.

Shan walks over to Joey.

Shan: Hey Joey, Andy, Tom.

Andrew: Don't call me that.

Shan: You're lucky I'm on probation because if I wasn't I would f**k you up...

Andrew walks away.

Tom: Yeah, I'm gonna walk away too...

Tom catches up to Andrew and they disappear into the house together.

Joey: So, what's up Shan?

Shan: Do you believe in polyamory?

Joey: No...

Shan: Oh, well then will you divorce your wife?

Joey shakes his head awkwardly.

Shan: Cause I'm in love with you...

Joey: I'm rejecting you.

Shan starts sobbing and runs away back to Ellie.

Joey: She's a basket case...

The Vigilantes are now seen in the Head of the House room together discussing who to nominate.

Andrew: Shan obviously, she's f**king psycho.

Tiffany: But I promised Ellie I wouldn't put either of them up...

Joey: Tiff, promises are made to be broken.

Nadia: That's rules are meant to be broken.

Joey: Do I look like I care?

Nadia: Don't f**k with me man...

Mark is beginning to cry.

Mark: Why can't we all get along?!?!?

Tiffany: Shut the f**k up.

Mark runs away sobbing.

Andrew: Aw shucks...

Nadia: I say we put up Tom, he's a threat in this house.

Joey: Exactly, but who else?

Andrew: How about Tyler? He's another huge threat.

Nadia: NO!!!

Tiffany: Jesus Christ...Nasia totally screwed me over last week, she deserves to go up.

Nadia: But is she worth it? Why not get out big threats, instead of little people that'd barely make a dent?

Tiffany: I don't know guys, I think I'm gonna have to think about this alone.

Andrew: Ok hun, I know you'll make the right decision.

Everyone walks out and Tiffany lays down on her bed and lets out a sigh.

Tiffany DR: Everyone made such good points, but I gotta go with my gut feeling, I just hope it doesn't land me in hot water.

Tiffany walks outside where everyone is waiting for the nomination ceremony.

Tiffany: Everyone, it's time for the nomination ceremony, please join me in the living area.

Everyone goes into the living area and takes a seat.

Tiffany: As the Head of the House this week it's my responsibility to nominate two people from the Rogues for elimination, when I say your name it means you're safe. John, you're safe.

John: Thanks Tiffany.

Tiffany: Ellie, you're safe.

Ellie: Thanks Tiffany.

Tiffany: Shan, you're safe.

Shan: Thanks Tiff.

Tom DR: I'm hoping for the best, but of course preparing for the worst.

Nasia DR: I backstabbed Tiffany last week, it's obvious I'm going up.

Tyler DR: I like sex.

Tiffany: Tyler, you're safe.

Tyler jumps up from the table cheering.

'''Tyler: YEAH BABY!!! ' Producers come in the calm Tyler down.''

Delilah: I'm sorry for that guys, Tyler was just a little over excited, you may now continue.

Tiffany: Well...Nasia, you know why you're nominated, and Tom, strictly gameplay.

Nasia DR: Shocker right, oh well, I'm just hoping for the best.

Tom DR: What the f**k Tiff, why am I nominated? What'd I do??

Part 4
Tom grabs John by the arm, drags him into a lounge area and locks the door behind them.

Tom: What the f**k?!? Did you tell her something?!?

John DR: Tom's just paranoid, my only goal, calm him down before he does something he regrets.

John: Tom, just calm down, we'll get to the bottom of this.

Tom: Why should I calm down John?!?!?!?!? What'd I ever do to that bitch?

Shan appears out of nowhere.

Shan: What'd you say...?

Tom: Shan, get the f**k out of here.

Shan: GUICHET.

John and Tom both look at Shan blankly.

Tiffany is now seen talking to Andrew in her Head of the House bedroom.

Tiffany: Think I made the right choice?

Andrew: As long as that's what your heart told you to do, yeah.

Tiffany: I just feel maybe I shouldn't of let my vengeance get in the way of things.

Andrew: Then how about we make sure Tom goes home?

Tiffany: Sure...but how?

Andrew: Well we know that all of the Vigilantes will vote the way you want, so just sway some Rogues and boom.

Tiffany: Great plan babe.

Tiffany is seen talking to Tyler.

Tiffany: So what're you thinking for eliminations.

Tyler: Not sure, I'm close with Nasia but Tom's a strong competitor.

Tiffany chuckles.

Tiffany: And a man whore.

Tyler: What??? I'm the only sex crazed man in this house...he better get the boot this week.

Tiffany DR: So far...5-4.

Andrew is seen talking with Shan and Ellie.

Andrew: Eliminations...who you guys saving?

Shan: Well it's obvious I'm saving Nasia, now good ol' Elle over here says she wants to save Tom. BLASPHEMY.

Ellie: Me and Tom have...

Ellie DR: No way I'm telling them me and Tom hooked up, especially Shan.

Ellie: ...became good friends.

Shan shoots Ellie an evil eye.

Shan DR: Now Tom's going down...hard.

Andrew DR: I guess Ellie's a lost cause, as long as we have Shan we still should have the votes.

Part 5
All the contestants sit in the living area and Kristen walks in.

Kristen: Hello contestants, it's time for your second elimination ceremony. Tom and Nasia, you have been nominated by Tiffany for elimination, in a matter of minutes one of you will leave the house in the middle of nowhere, never to return. Neither of the nominees are eligible to vote and Tiffany as the Head of the House you will only vote in the event of a tie.

Kristen looks at the teleprompter behind the camera.

Kristen: What? There's no Mark here.

Mark: That's me!!!

Kristen: Oh, well you're voting first, have fun.

Mark walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: No clue who this man is...

Mark: I'M MARK!!!

Kristen Narration: Duh.

Mark: Whatever, I vote to eliminate Tom.

Andrew walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Andrew showed dedication to Tiffany, his vote should be obvious.'' '' Andrew: I vote to eliminate Tom.

Ellie walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Ellie is split by her two closest allies in the game, this should be interesting.

Ellie: Oh my god...I vote to eliminate Nasia, sorry hun.

Nadia walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: The Vigilantes showed that they want Tom out, Nadia's vote should go along with the rest of them.

Nadia: I vote to eliminate Tom.

Shan walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narrarion: Shan's a crazy feminist, her vote should be obvious.

Shan: I vote to eliminate the chauvinistic Tom, peace out you mitch!

Joey walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Joey's been a silent one this week, his vote should be interesting.

Joey: Sorry baby girl, but I vote to eliminate you Nasia.

John walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: John admitted to having a crush on Nasia, yet his best friend in the house is Tom, this should be interesting.

John: Sorry but the golden rule, bros before hoes, I vote to eliminate you Nasia.

Kristen: The votes are in, and resulted in a tie.

Everyone gasps.

Kristen: Tiffany, please vote to eliminate.

Tiffany stands up in front of the group.

Tiffany: Wow, well I didn't want to do this, but I'm sorry, I vote to eliminate you Tom.

Tom gets up and begins saying his goodbyes.

Tom DR: I was completely blindsided by Tiffany but oh well, it was a great experience and I'm happy to have the friends I've made.

Kristen: And that's all for this week, see you next time guys.

Part 1
Kristen: Welcome to the third episode of the House in the Middle of Nowhere. Last week, the Vigilantes won the Hang 10 immunity competition and Tiffany became the new Head of the House. She put Nasia and Tom up for elimination, hoping to eliminate Nasia but in a sudden vote of 5-3, Tom was eliminated from the house. What will happen this week on, the House, in the Middle of Nowhere.

Scene changes to Mark speaking to Nadia.

Mark: So what's up with you and Tyler?

Nadia: Why are you asking me this?

Mark: Because I want to know.

Nadia: Well why do you want to know everything?

Mark: Because-

Shan runs in.

Shan: Step away from the woman Mark...

Mark: Yay, you know my name.

Shan points a shotgun at Mark.

Mark: Whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing!?!?!

Shan: Protecting a woman, that's what I'm doing.

Producer, Delilah Byrd runs in.

Delilah: Shan, put the gun down.

Shan: God guys, it isn't loaded, calm down.

Delilah: Put it down Shan...

Delilah takes out a taser.

Shan: Fine...

Shan throws the gun on the ground.

Mark DR: This girl's a psychopath, like really, what the f**k is her problem?

Kristen walks into the house.

Kristen: Kids, it's time for your next challenge.

Everyone gathers in the backyard where they find nine large wheels with different colors on them.

Kristen: As you can see, here are a couple wheels with various colors on them.

Mark: I can't see.

Kristen: Then you're an idiot.

Kristen: So, in this challenge you will have to spin the wheel so the colors form a rainbow that is in order.

Ellie: That's easy.

Kristen: Is it? Then we should make it harder right?

Ellie: No...

Kristen: Too bad, the trick is that there are more than seven colors on those wheels, and some look practically identical to others. I like to call this one, Somewhere Over the Retarded Rainbow.

Part 2
Kristen: C'mon kids, get over to your wheels.

Everyone steps up to a wheel.

Ellie DR: I think I got this one in the bag, I'm easily the smartest one here and I'm a member of MENSA.

Kristen: 1, 2, 3, GO!

The contestants start spinning their wheels to get the first color correct, red.

Nasia DR: I think I'm doing well, I'm already up to orange, while everyone else is only on like yellow I think, well besides Ellie. She's my biggest competition here.

''It's a race between Ellie and Nasia until Nasia hits her button signifying that she thinks she completed it. Kristen goes over to check it.''

Kristen: I'm sorry Nasia, but that isn't correct.

Ellie hits her button and Kristen checks it.

Kristen: Hmmmmmmm...

Ellie: Did I win?

Kristen: Shush child.

Ellie: Rude.

Kristen: Shut up.

Ellie: Oi vey.

Kristen: Congratulations Ellie, you are the new Head of the House.

Ellie: Oh my gosh yay!

Ellie DR: Suck on that bitches!

Kristen: And being the HotH, you must nominate two people from the Vigilantes for elimination, goodnight kids.

Kristen leaves.

Part 3
The Rogues are seen meeting in Ellie's HotH room.

Ellie DR: I don't want any drama this week, just gameplay. Sorry viewers.

Ellie: So what were you guys thinking?

Shan: Anyone except Nadia or Tiffany.

Others: ...

Tyler: I say we get a threat out.

Nasia: Like who?

Tyler: Andrew? Joey? They're both huge competition.

Shan gulps.

Shan: Um, not Joey.

Nasia: F**k you.

Ellie: Sass.

John: So Andrew's a lock, who's the other?

Nasia: How about Mark, like as a pawn to make sure Andrew goes home?

Ellie: But wouldn't they want Mark out since he's weaker?

Nasia: Nah, I'm sure they're thinking about the merge as much as we are.

Nasia DR: Me and the rest of the Rogues know that the merge is coming up, but we're pretty sure we're gonna still stay together.

Ellie: I still don't know, sorry Shan but I think Joey vs Andrew is the smartest choice.

Shan: Whatever...

Shan storms out.

Ellie: S**t.

Tyler: Watch out, psychopath on the loose.

A butcher's knife comes flying towards Tyler and barely misses his face.

Everyone: ...

Part 4
Ellie DR: I have a big decision ahead of me, and I just hope this is the right decision.

Ellie walks outside where the others are.

Ellie: Everyone, it's time for the nomination ceremony.

Everyone walks into the living area and sits down.

Ellie: As the Head of the House this week it's my responsibility to nominate two people from the Vigilantes for elimination. When I say your name that means your safe. Nadia.

Nadia: Thanks Ellie.

Ellie: Tiffany.

Tiffany: Thanks Elle.

Andrew DR: All I'm thinking is...y'know what I don't think I'm thinking anything.

Joey DR: Just gotta hope for the best, y'know?

Mark DR: I'm not a threat in the house, for gods sake the host doesn't even know who I am, putting me up for elimination wouldn't be smart.

Ellie: Joey, you are safe.

Joey: Thanks Ellie.

Ellie: Andrew and Mark, I nominated you for elimination this week, I'm sorry but you're threats in the house and I need to do anything that would help me win.

Andrew DR: Oh well, just gotta hope I can pull out the votes.

Mark DR: Rogues...bad move.

Part 5
All the contestants sit in the living area and Kristen walks in.

Kristen: Hello kids, it's time for your third elimination ceremony. Mark and Andrew, you have been nominated by Ellie for elimination, in a matter of minutes one of you will leave the House in the Middle of Nowhere, never to return. Neither of the nominees are eligible to vote and Ellie as the Head of the House you will only vote in the event of a tie. Nasia, you're the first to vote.

Kristen Narration: All the Rogues seem to want Andrew out, will Nasia stick to that decision?

Nasia: I vote to eliminate Andrew.

Tiffany walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Tiffany and Andrew are confirmed to be dating, her vote should be obvious.

Tiffany: I vote to eliminate Mark.

Nadia walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Nadia has been quiet this week and she hasn't shown any feelings for either nominees, her vote should be interesting.

Nadia: I vote to eliminate Mark.

Tyler walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Tyler's vote should go along with the other Rogues.

Tyler: I vote to eliminate Andrew.

Joey walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Joey and Andrew have shown to be good friends in the house, his vote should be obvious.

Joey: I vote to eliminate Mark.

Shan walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: Shan has shown hatred for both nominees, who will she choose?

Shan: I vote to eliminate Andrew.

John walks into the Diary Room.

Kristen Narration: John's vote should be the same as the other Rogues.

John: I vote to eliminate Andrew.

Kristen: Contestants, the votes are in, and in a vote of 4-3, Andrew you are eliminated from the House in the Middle of Nowhere.

''Andrew gets up from his seat and starts saying his goodbyes. Tiffany sheds a tear.''

Andrew: Tiff, stay strong and win this for me.

Tiffany: I will...

Andrew DR: I knew I was a threat in the game, but I didn't think I would be out so early, oh well, but Tiff, win this for us.

Kristen: And that's all for this week, see you next time guys.

Part 1
Winner: Nadia

Risk: Tyler & Ellie

Eliminated: Tyler

Part 1
Winner: Ellie

Risk: Tiffany & Mark

Eliminated: Tiffany

Ep 6
Merge happens.

Part 1
Winner: Mark

Risk: Joey & Nasia

Eliminated: Joey, first jury member

Part 1
Winner: John

Risk: Shan & Nadia

Eliminated: Shan, second jury member

Part 1
Winner: Nadia

Risk: Mark & Nasia

Eliminated: Mark, third jury member

Part 1
Winner: John

Risk: Ellie & Nadia

Eliminated: Ellie, fourth jury member

Part 1
Winner: Nasia

Risk: Nadia & John

Eliminated: John, fifth and final jury member

Ep 11
Joey's vote: Nadia

Shan's vote: Nasia

Mark's vote: Nadia

Ellie's vote: Nasia

John's vote: Nasia

Winner: Nasia